A monumental tapestry of thought appeared over the city yesterday when Veterans of the Battle of Parphar gathered in the Spectacular Cafe for what is believed to be the first nonliterary event in recent memory. Edward Zed, popularly known as Stendahl, spoke at length of the need for constitutional reforms and new genres. Zed said the dependence on parallel gesture, recovered speech and viral detritus that is now common has allowed an environment of repetition and esthetic bad faith to become even more toxic than the previous reign of hegemonic irony.

There was a move out of the cafe into Spectral Square and group dream. Damage was minor. No government response was discernable.